Top Ten
These are the best quotes on the site, as voted for by you, the
users! We need more votes to make this work well, so please tell us
what you think.
Create an account and log in to
comment and vote on submissions.
| | |
|
"There are only two ways to have a relationship with a person - you can love them, you can hate them or you can tolerate them."
|
Posted by JT on 3 Dec 2009.
(6)
(0)
Permalink
|
|
Um. How is this stupid?
|
Posted by Socky on 3 Dec 2009.
|
|
"There are only three kinds of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't."
|
Posted by Wrongfellow on 3 Dec 2009.
|
|
"There are only 10 types of people in the world - those that understand binary code and those that don't."
|
Posted by JT on 4 Dec 2009.
|
|
Yes, well. There are two ways how the inequal number thingy is irrelevant. 1. Tolerating them is the middle solution, the golden mean. It's just the combination of the two previous ones, so it basically the same as saying "both". 2. Loving and hating is one option. Neither love nor hatred will lead to a peaceful coexistence. It creates too much tension, it cannot last forever. Option 2, tolerating them is the answer to that problem. 3. Numbers don't matter.
|
Posted by Socky on 4 Dec 2009.
|
|
|
| | |
| | |
|
Advert: "Dell Studio 17 Laptops are available in a range of different colours to suit the whole family..." Small print: "Dell Studio 17 Laptop available in red or blue only."
|
Posted by JT on 12 Dec 2009.
(6)
(0)
Permalink
|
|
You can have any colour you like, as long as it's red. Or blue.
|
Posted by Wrongfellow on 12 Dec 2009.
|
|
|
| | |
| | |
|
Genuine answer given in exam: "The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o and u."
|
Posted by JT on 14 Dec 2009.
(6)
(0)
Permalink
|
|
Unlike other primates, human bodies do not have consonants.
|
Posted by Necropaxx on 18 Dec 2009.
|
|
He forgot the Elvis.
|
Posted by Moosh on 20 Dec 2009.
|
|
|
| | |
| | |
|
Answer given in History exam: "Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand.". Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead."
|
Posted by JT on 14 Dec 2009.
(6)
(0)
Permalink
|
|
Damn students on crack. Also, JT, where do you get the "answer given in exam" stuff? You're a teacher or something?
|
Posted by Moosh on 16 Dec 2009.
|
|
Not a chance - I'd rather spend as little time around children as possible, horrid little beasts that they are. Found it all on some teachers website.
|
Posted by JT on 17 Dec 2009.
|
|
|
| | |
| | |
|
Sign at ice skating rink: "Please note our hot chocolate is hot."
|
Posted by JT on 15 Dec 2009.
(6)
(0)
Permalink
|
|
This reminds me of one I saw at Ipswich railway station: "Warning: this heater gets hot"
|
Posted by Wrongfellow on 15 Dec 2009.
|
|
|
| | |
| | |
|
"Did you know that if you swap over the positive and negative on a microwave, it'll freeze food really fast?"
|
Posted by JT on 24 Dec 2009.
(7)
(1)
Permalink
|
|
|
| | |
| | |
|
"If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian is it still called stand-up comedy?"
|
Posted by JT on 30 Dec 2009.
(6)
(0)
Permalink
|
|
|
| | |
| | |
|
"Are lions really afraid of kitchen chairs?"
|
Posted by JT on 30 Dec 2009.
(7)
(1)
Permalink
|
|
And they're even more afraid of living room chairs!
|
Posted by Socky on 1 Jan 2010.
|
|
|
| | |
| | |
|
"Why does it take a year for earth to orbit the sun?"
|
Posted by JT on 30 Dec 2009.
(6)
(0)
Permalink
|
|
|
| | |
| | |
|
"Why is there 4 prongs on a fork but only 3 spaces between them?"
|
Posted by JT on 30 Dec 2009.
(6)
(0)
Permalink
|
|
|
| | |
|