Top Ten
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"My son has invented a new word, who do you sell them to? I can't tell you what it is in case you steal it, it's a good sensible word, how much would it be worth?"
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(From http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/...)
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Posted by JT on 1 Oct 2009.
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I thought sensible was already a word.
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Posted by Tiger on 31 Oct 2009.
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where i live, 4 eggs and a potato
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Posted by Moosh on 9 Nov 2009.
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You sell them to.... the Patent Office!
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Posted by breadbocks on 4 Apr 2010.
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Who... sell you!
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Posted by Tiger on 12 Dec 2010.
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In bookshop:
Customer:"I'm trying to find the complete works of Karl Marx"
Person working in shop: "Who is it by?"
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Posted by RvA on 23 Dec 2009.
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J.K. Rowling. Everything's done by her.
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Posted by Tiger on 23 May 2010.
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"If you're going to act spontaneously, at least plan it in advance."
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Posted by JT on 6 Oct 2009.
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If you fail to plan, you plan to fail....
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Posted by Mhaille on 27 Oct 2009.
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"If English isn't your strong point, ask at your local JobCentre for help in constructing a cv/completing application forms. Many people have missed out on job offers that they could of got due to basic errors." (Letter from JobCentre listing programs designed to help unemployed people back into work)
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Posted by JT on 28 Feb 2010.
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I don't get it...
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Posted by CheddarBBQ on 28 Feb 2010.
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Then you might want to ask for help with your grammar. :-)
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Posted by JT on 28 Feb 2010.
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Just don't ask the Jobcentre :)
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 2 Mar 2010.
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Cheddar - it should have said: "...that they could HAVE got...". "...help IN constructing a cv..." really should have been "...help WITH..." too. Actually, the entire second sentence is incorrect; but since I already have a reputation for being a grammar nazi I'll let it go.
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Posted by JT on 2 Mar 2010.
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But if they could have got job offers due to basic errors, but missed out on them... maybe that means they need more basic errors in their writing?
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 2 Mar 2010.
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Thats' why from now on im gonna right job applicashunes lick this, innit
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Posted by JT on 3 Mar 2010.
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lol u hace teh jobz0r!!!1! l0l0l0l
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 3 Mar 2010.
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i can has jobz?
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Posted by JT on 4 Mar 2010.
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I've actually seen quite a few of those ads here in Egypt. I laughed.
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Posted by Moosh on 4 Mar 2010.
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"pine double bed with fire retarded mattress" - for sale on Ebay.
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Posted by JT on 23 Dec 2009.
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I asked the buyer a question about the retardedness of the bed and they answered with 'lol im sure u have better things to do with your time than correct my grama but mabe not'
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Posted by etherelda on 27 Dec 2009.
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When have I ever corrected your grandma?
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 27 Dec 2009.
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I love the idea of WIF users tracking down the sources of quotes and hassling them!
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Posted by JT on 28 Dec 2009.
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"Who'd pay five quid for that? It's broken!" - Entirely serious member of the public looking at a 30cm tall reproduction of the Venus de Milo that I was selling on a market stall.
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(From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venus_de...)
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Posted by JT on 18 Mar 2010.
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Now that you mention it - Why is she missing her arms? Did some psychopathic maniac cut them off?
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Posted by Socky on 18 Mar 2010.
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She was a compulsive nail-biter.
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Posted by JT on 19 Mar 2010.
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We're a Cambridge based company. Our offices are in Portugal.
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 14 Nov 2009.
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Me: "Is that shop up the road open 24 hours a day?"
Andy: "No - that one's open 48 hours."
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Posted by JT on 17 Nov 2009.
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They've got a time machine? Radical!
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Posted by Socky on 18 Nov 2009.
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Job advert found online: "English tutors/teachers. You made be a retired teacher looking for some extra work, You may have a permanent job and looking to earn a extra income or a teacher looking for some extra work during the holidays. You will be required to teach: Small groups of children no more than 5 English for sessions of 80Minute's."
It's not the kids that need teaching!
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Posted by JT on 13 Jan 2010.
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as u can c there is lot's of work 4 englsh teachrz 2 do in the mdrn wrld.
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 13 Jan 2010.
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Girl in shop, looking at colour choices on sheets: "Wossa teal?"
Girl's Mother: "A kind of bird."
Girl: "Uhhh. Wossa bird?"
Incredulous Mother: "A fing wiv wings wot flies..."
(I swear this really happened).
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Posted by JT on 15 Aug 2009.
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