Top Ten
in People
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"If Stephen Hawking were British, he would be dead" - Investor's Business Daily
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 16 Aug 2009.
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Of course he would be. If his computerized voice tried to talk with a British accent, it would explode.
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Posted by CheddarBBQ on 21 Nov 2009.
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Damn those Brits. No respect for physicists. - I'm from London, btw.
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Posted by Destrii on 11 Jan 2010.
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A concerned mother writes: "My 17 year old son has been very secretive with me lately, recently he has started to refuse to go to church with the family and tonight when I was going through his room I found a magazine with naked men in it. He obviously has a girlfriend that he is hiding from me that brought that magazine into my home and I am afraid that they are having intercourse and I am greatly concerned that he will get her pregnant."
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Posted by JT on 31 Dec 2009.
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TL - but stick with it. It's a gem.
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Posted by JT on 31 Dec 2009.
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Conspiracy Theory Mum. Gay is just a myth.
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Posted by Moosh on 1 Jan 2010.
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Really I think an unwanted pregnancy is the last thing you should be worrying about.
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 1 Jan 2010.
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I would like to make love to this woman and give birth to her babies.
I'm sure she wouldn't mind, because her husband was also hiding a magazine with naked men, so he's obviously cheating on her with another woman.
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Posted by Socky on 1 Jan 2010.
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Mom, just back away SLOWLY and put the porn down. His girlfriend will need it when she leaves the closet.
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Posted by breadbocks on 4 Apr 2010.
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Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
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Posted by Olipro on 13 Sep 2009.
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"How many people have died this year from squirrel attacks?"
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(From http://answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...)
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Posted by JT on 2 Jan 2010.
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I think it's actually a sensible question, though I can't think why anyone might want to ask it. It gets a [+] from me for the sheer bizarreness factor, though!
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 2 Jan 2010.
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Same here - not stupid at all, but it made me smile.
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Posted by JT on 2 Jan 2010.
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Killer squirrels are serious business!
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Posted by Socky on 3 Jan 2010.
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Call centre employee: "Are you Mrs. or Miss?"
Female customer: "I'm Ms."
Employee: "What? What's that?"
Customer: "It's a title that doesn't reveal my married status, as whether or not I'm married is nobody else's business."
Employee: "Oh, that's a good idea - they should have something like that for men."
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Posted by JT on 4 Feb 2010.
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When I was little I thought "Miss" meant single, "Mrs" meant married, and "Ms" meant divorced.
Of course, in practice I wasn't too far wrong.
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 4 Feb 2010.
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A lot of people think that!
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Posted by JT on 5 Feb 2010.
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To be honest, I don't have the faintest clue how I'm supposed to pronounce all that. Well, except Miss, that one's kinda obvious.
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Posted by Socky on 8 Feb 2010.
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Sock, Ms and Miss are the same. Mrs is Missis.
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Posted by breadbocks on 4 Apr 2010.
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"Ms and Miss are the same?" I wouldn't say that to any feminists, if I were you!
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Posted by JT on 14 Mar 2011.
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My sister is 2 and she's already humping things!?!? Does that mean that she's destinied for whoredom?!?!
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(From http://answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...)
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Posted by Moosh on 10 Jan 2010.
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I think the responses are as funny as the questions: "Toddlers masturbate for the same reason that older children do: It feels good!" and "She may be just as curious about her genitals as she is about her fingers, toes, and belly button — and if she's recently switched from diapers to underpants, she may be able to get to them for the first time."
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Posted by CheddarBBQ on 10 Jan 2010.
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Q: "What are you doing?" A: "Making sure my hair looks sober"
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 16 Jan 2010.
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"There are only two ways to have a relationship with a person - you can love them, you can hate them or you can tolerate them."
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Posted by JT on 3 Dec 2009.
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Um. How is this stupid?
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Posted by Socky on 3 Dec 2009.
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"There are only three kinds of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't."
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 3 Dec 2009.
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"There are only 10 types of people in the world - those that understand binary code and those that don't."
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Posted by JT on 4 Dec 2009.
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Yes, well. There are two ways how the inequal number thingy is irrelevant.
1. Tolerating them is the middle solution, the golden mean. It's just the combination of the two previous ones, so it basically the same as saying "both".
2. Loving and hating is one option. Neither love nor hatred will lead to a peaceful coexistence. It creates too much tension, it cannot last forever. Option 2, tolerating them is the answer to that problem.
3. Numbers don't matter.
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Posted by Socky on 4 Dec 2009.
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"What is the difference between spoken language and sign language?"
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Posted by LucyT on 11 Jan 2010.
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