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Recently, I had to appear in court (and was found not guilty, which was good because I was indeed not guilty of the offence with which I was charged). We heard the tail end of the case heard before mine, which was that of a man who had been caught driving with a fake driving licence. He wasn't in court, but his barrister read out his defence: "He had not been aware that the licence was fake when he bought it."
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Posted by JT on 21 Dec 2011.
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"We're recording our album in January. It'll be out in the New Year."
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 22 Oct 2011.
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"You always feel older when you're older, don't you, 'cos you're older." (Pub eavesdropping)
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Posted by JT on 24 Sep 2011.
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You can sleep for longer or shorter, you can sleep deeper or shallower, but you can't sleep faster or slower.
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 21 Jun 2011.
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"Don't put your finger in there! It'll hurt."
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 2 Sep 2011.
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I sometimes wonder if we need an "Out Of Context" category.
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 2 Sep 2011.
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"Your dad's called Richard too...? Was he named after you...?"
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Posted by JT on 24 Aug 2011.
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University of Leicester study proves broken bottles can be used to stab people:
"..broken glass bottles can be used as an effective stabbing weapon and the results of the study have reaffirmed this" said Mr Nolan.
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Posted by poppy on 29 Jul 2011.
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A concerned mother writes: "My 17 year old son has been very secretive with me lately, recently he has started to refuse to go to church with the family and tonight when I was going through his room I found a magazine with naked men in it. He obviously has a girlfriend that he is hiding from me that brought that magazine into my home and I am afraid that they are having intercourse and I am greatly concerned that he will get her pregnant."
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Posted by JT on 31 Dec 2009.
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TL - but stick with it. It's a gem.
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Posted by JT on 31 Dec 2009.
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Conspiracy Theory Mum. Gay is just a myth.
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Posted by Moosh on 1 Jan 2010.
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Really I think an unwanted pregnancy is the last thing you should be worrying about.
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 1 Jan 2010.
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I would like to make love to this woman and give birth to her babies.
I'm sure she wouldn't mind, because her husband was also hiding a magazine with naked men, so he's obviously cheating on her with another woman.
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Posted by Socky on 1 Jan 2010.
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Mom, just back away SLOWLY and put the porn down. His girlfriend will need it when she leaves the closet.
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Posted by breadbocks on 4 Apr 2010.
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"Look at those notices! They're really badly grammared."
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 3 Jul 2011.
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