Who Invented Foxes?
News: I just renewed the domain. Here's to another year of Who Invented Foxes!
Posted by mike on 17 Jul 2010.
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Bloke: "Sorry, I didn't catch your name..."
Lucy: "It's Lucy."
Bloke: "Very pleased to meet you, Lucy. So - are you Lucy's sister?"
    Posted by JT on 21 May 2010. + (4) - (0) Permalink
"Yes, I am. You must be Bloke's brother, good to meet you!"
    Posted by mike on 21 May 2010.

"These days you can get arrested just for shooting people."
    Posted by mike on 19 Jun 2010. + (3) - (0) Permalink

Police officer, raiding house occupied by five suspected illegal immigrants from India, to suspected illegal immigrant and speaking very slowly and using exaggerated mannerisms in case they can't speak English: "Do... you... have... a... passport...?"
Immigrant: "Yes."
Officer: "What... about... these... guys...?"
Immigrant: "I don't know about these guys, sorry."
Officer: "Can... you... ask... them...?"
Immigrant: "Do you guys have passports?"
Other immigrants: "Yes we do."
Officer: "I... will... need... to... see... your... passports... where... are... they...?"
    Posted by JT on 25 Jun 2010. + (5) - (0) Permalink
So this copper sees a van doing 60mph in a 50 limit, so he pulls it over, and says to the Indian guy behind the wheel, "Sorry mate, the limit's 50 here." The Indian guy leans over the back and says "I'm afraid 5 of you are going to have to get out" :)
    Posted by mike on 26 Jun 2010.

"I would like to see the council use some anti-social paint on top of the walls round here." (From Cambridge News)
    Posted by JT on 21 Jul 2010. + (4) - (0) Permalink
I've seen that anti-social paint. There's a little gang of it that hangs around in the park, always drinking cheap cider and yelling insults at passers-by. Bring back the birch, that's what I say!
    Posted by JT on 21 Jul 2010.

"The 32-year-old was found dead in a delivery area behind the Oxfordshire Golf Club, near Thame, where he worked. He had been decapitated.

Police were called the the club at 3pm, but Mr. XXX [the victim] had died before paramedics reached him." (Cambridge Evening News)
    Posted by JT on 27 Aug 2010. + (2) - (0) Permalink

"I got my crabs from dirty dicks. Haha best dinner ever!!" -Facebook status update
    Posted by CheddarBBQ on 27 Jun 2010. + (1) - (2) Permalink

"This says a guy got into a coma by jumping out of a car." [30 seconds pass] "*gasp* It was a moving car!"
    Posted by CheddarBBQ on 26 Jun 2010. + (3) - (0) Permalink
I found it hard to put into words how shocked they were at the realization that the car was moving.
    Posted by CheddarBBQ on 26 Jun 2010.

"You just Warning?" -referring of course to the album 'Warning' by punk rock band Green Day.
    Posted by CheddarBBQ on 11 Jul 2010. + (0) - (1) Permalink

Found on a Parisian gravestone: "Andre Notin 1949-"
    Posted by Ghost on 20 Jul 2010. + (3) - (0) Permalink

A concerned mother writes: "My 17 year old son has been very secretive with me lately, recently he has started to refuse to go to church with the family and tonight when I was going through his room I found a magazine with naked men in it. He obviously has a girlfriend that he is hiding from me that brought that magazine into my home and I am afraid that they are having intercourse and I am greatly concerned that he will get her pregnant."
    Posted by JT on 31 Dec 2009. + (8) - (0) Permalink
TL - but stick with it. It's a gem.
    Posted by JT on 31 Dec 2009.
Conspiracy Theory Mum. Gay is just a myth.
    Posted by Moosh on 1 Jan 2010.
Really I think an unwanted pregnancy is the last thing you should be worrying about.
    Posted by mike on 1 Jan 2010.
I would like to make love to this woman and give birth to her babies.
I'm sure she wouldn't mind, because her husband was also hiding a magazine with naked men, so he's obviously cheating on her with another woman.
    Posted by Socky on 1 Jan 2010.
Mom, just back away SLOWLY and put the porn down. His girlfriend will need it when she leaves the closet.
    Posted by breadbocks on 4 Apr 2010.