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Up-to-the-minute summaries of all the latest stupidities reported by the media.
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"Real-life Titanic" (News headline following the capsizing of the Concordia)
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Posted by JT on 30 Jan 2012.
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"Shortly before the hearing began, four armed officers dressed in black stood in each corner of the court. Stapleton, who was handcuffed, was then brought into the dock and asked for his name.
He replied: "Psycho. Psycho Stapleton."
(Part 1 in a new WIF series, "How to really fuck yourself over in court)
(http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/jan...)
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Posted by JT on 2 Jan 2012.
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"SYDNEY BROTHELS LINKED TO SEX TRADE" (Headline)
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Posted by JT on 17 Oct 2011.
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"Once it starts it will move swiftly and the site will be cleared even though it might take six to eight weeks."
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Posted by JT on 19 Sep 2011.
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Swiftly or six to eight weeks...?
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Posted by JT on 19 Sep 2011.
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Compared to ten years of legal wrangling I'd say 6 to 8 weeks is fairly swift!
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 25 Sep 2011.
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"There were flies flying around and the smell was awful.The ship was just sat there not doing anything, and there were 12 crates of dead crabs and fish just lying there covered in flies. It’s not the sort of thing you want to see on holiday, there was a real stench. My children were quite distressed by it. These people should be a bit more considerate to the holidaymakers."
(Man complains about dead fish. At a working fishing harbour: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/tra...)
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Posted by JT on 6 Sep 2011.
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A prisoner ... has apparently been issued an official warning after the warden decided that the man's repeated episodes of flatulence in fact represented "a series of concerted attacks" on prison staff.
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(From http://www.loweringthebar.net/2010/03...)
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Posted by poppy on 16 Aug 2011.
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"We wouldn’t expect communities and businesses to start up with electricity or roads or water."
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(From http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/Home/...)
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Posted by JT on 15 Aug 2011.
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You wouldn't? I was under the impression they were considered fairly essential these days.
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Posted by JT on 15 Aug 2011.
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Hey, who needs water when you've got superfast broadband?
It kind of reminds me of that "One Laptop Per Child" scheme. Sure, give them all laptops, so they can get on the Internet and read about how much better off they'd be if they had fresh running water rather than a bloody computer.
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 15 Aug 2011.
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"Nudists seek new membership to revive flagging membership" (The Times)
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Posted by JT on 10 May 2011.
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