Recent additions in WTF?

Some of the stuff we've received is just so far out there that it doesn't really fit into any particular category. These utter gems of idiocy live here.

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	"Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull."     Posted by JT on 14 Dec 2009. (4) (0) Permalink Tweet It's an exact science.     Posted by Destrii on 11 Jan 2010.

	"Do you know any good roleplaying games with dwarfs, elves and milfs?"     Posted by JT on 9 Dec 2009. (7) (0) Permalink Tweet imvu     Posted by Tiger on 12 Dec 2010.

	"If a dog wags its tail in a circle does it mean it's gay? My local GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) office didn't seem to know either which surprised me since they seem to have answers for anything that pertains to this life style."     Posted by JT on 29 Nov 2009. (5) (0) Permalink Tweet I think it's clockwise for a giver and anticlockwise for a receiver.     Posted by Wrongfellow on 29 Nov 2009. Very handy information - that's going to save me a lot of unnecessary bites.     Posted by JT on 29 Nov 2009.

	"Can you get pregnant from a bite? I have no idea about the scenario that relates to men and womans having ovaries then getting pregnant. The thing i am worried about is a stupid dog, comes and bites me then like next month or a few i get a dog inside my stomach. Same to all other animal bites like a cat, i'll get a cat inside me like a woman does when she has a small baby. Is this true? In my country, because of the animal bites, i heard that we have to take about 14 vaccines or injections on the belly to get rid of the infection or it will form a small implant or whatever overy in the stomach thus a small animal forms and eats you up in the inside, then you die!!. Is this true? Because yesterday i almost got bitten by a stupid dog in a school field, i don't even know who that belongs to. I heard that even mens will get pregnant!!" (sic)     Posted by JT on 12 Nov 2009. (4) (0) Permalink Tweet ... (speechless)     Posted by JT on 12 Nov 2009. where do you find this stuff, JT? :D     Posted by Moosh on 12 Nov 2009. What you should actually be worrying about is a dog biting you in the ass. It'll give you Super Dog AIDS. FOR REALZ!     Posted by Socky on 12 Nov 2009. Mike and I have been collecting and swapping examples of human stupidity for years - our ears are highly tuned to hunting them down. This particular example was Wikianswers, I think. :-)     Posted by JT on 12 Nov 2009. The moral of the story: If a dog attacks you, make sure you bite it first. That way the dog will get pregnant instead of you. Problem solved!     Posted by Wrongfellow on 12 Nov 2009. I quite often bite dogs in the street just because they offend me by not being cats. Suppose that explains why so many puppies round here look like me.     Posted by JT on 13 Nov 2009. Of course. Where esle could Catwoman have come from?     Posted by Ghost on 15 Nov 2009.

	"Why does hello kitty have no mouth? It's so sad. How does she breath or eat cat food? Is she a ghost? Is that why she's so pale?"     Posted by JT on 3 Nov 2009. (0) (0) Permalink Tweet http://www.queeg.com/hellokitty/     Posted by Wrongfellow on 3 Nov 2009. So Hello Kitty couldn't blow anymore.     Posted by Tiger on 4 Nov 2009.

	"I have 4 kid and pregent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?okay i have 4 kids and pregent i had my first child @ the age of 15 after that i didnt care anymore my 2 bach was when i was 17 i had twins and the next onw was on my 18 birthday and now i pregent and i a 19 and i going to have my baby next next month and plus i am single i pay for my own house my om and dad dont give me a dime i get coupon and other stuff with my care and i thinking is this bad for me and my childern health plus i do not wor cause i cant afford a babysitter fior the kid butb i fgetting a job and that hiow i will pay for the baby sittter so can i you answer this is this bad foor my and my child health in the futer?" (sic)     Posted by JT on 3 Nov 2009. (1) (0) Permalink Tweet Call me a fascist if you will, but this is enough to convince me that enforced sterilisation has its place in this world.     Posted by JT on 3 Nov 2009. What I'm wondering is "Who'd f*ck that? Seriously?" I suspect the answer is "An American."     Posted by Socky on 3 Nov 2009. TL;DR. (Perhaps we need a "TL;DR" category?)     Posted by Wrongfellow on 4 Nov 2009. It would take a long time to make this up. This must be genuine. If so, I'm outta here.     Posted by Tiger on 4 Nov 2009. TL;DR category is a good idea, actually - we have a few amusing but long quotes.     Posted by JT on 13 Nov 2009. I concur.     Posted by Moosh on 13 Nov 2009. I'm new.     Posted by Necropaxx on 13 Nov 2009. I thought you said you didn't care any more? So why worry?     Posted by beeflin on 28 Nov 2009.

	"I wished to be a mermaid? I used a website to make a wish-to be a mermaid. If my wish comes true, how can I keep it a secret because I have to touch water every week in cooking class. Can anyone give me any answers/advice?"     Posted by JT on 29 Oct 2009. (2) (0) Permalink Tweet But why would you want to keep it a secret? Don't you want to seduce all the boys with that sexy tail of yours?     Posted by Socky on 27 Nov 2009. Get into Second Life, I know lots of mermaids there.     Posted by beeflin on 28 Nov 2009.

	"Why do animals like dinosaurs still exist if the fish died out hundreds of years ago?"     Posted by JT on 27 Oct 2009. (7) (0) Permalink Tweet Fish died out...? Then what the hell was that thing I had for my dinner last night?!     Posted by JT on 27 Oct 2009. A dinosaur?     Posted by Wrongfellow on 27 Oct 2009. Synthetic meat?     Posted by Socky on 28 Oct 2009. Loch Ness Monster?     Posted by Tiger on 31 Oct 2009. "Why do animals like dinosaurs still exist?" *cough*     Posted by Moosh on 14 Nov 2009. Porcupine?     Posted by Lollipop on 2 Jul 2011.

	Sign in opticians: "Eyes examined while you wait."     Posted by JT on 27 Oct 2009. (3) (1) Permalink Tweet Damn. Can't I come back later when you've done it?     Posted by Wrongfellow on 27 Oct 2009.

	Did you know that if you're deaf you should listen to an audio book??     Posted by Ghost on 26 Oct 2009. (3) (0) Permalink Tweet I was temporarily blind so I played 'spot the difference' once.     Posted by Tiger on 31 Oct 2009.