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Job advert found online: "English tutors/teachers. You made be a retired teacher looking for some extra work, You may have a permanent job and looking to earn a extra income or a teacher looking for some extra work during the holidays. You will be required to teach: Small groups of children no more than 5 English for sessions of 80Minute's."
It's not the kids that need teaching!
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Posted by JT on 13 Jan 2010.
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as u can c there is lot's of work 4 englsh teachrz 2 do in the mdrn wrld.
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 13 Jan 2010.
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Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
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Posted by JT on 3 Jan 2010.
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Exam question: "What is a co-operative?"
Answer: "It's a kind of shop that is not as dear as places like Marks and Spencer."
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Posted by JT on 14 Dec 2009.
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"Do you have that new book by Bridget Jones?" (Customer in bookshop, following the publication of Bridget Jones - The Edge of Reason)
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Posted by JT on 14 Dec 2009.
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"I am working as an accountant in Nilgiris supermarket? How to calculate tax in purchase invoice 12.5% and 4%?"
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Posted by JT on 24 Nov 2009.
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You're not a very good accountant, are you?
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Posted by JT on 24 Nov 2009.
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Hmm. I think I should start shopping in this supermarket.
"Tell you what, I'll pay you 25% extra for these goods, as long as you give me 25% off. How's that sound?"
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 24 Nov 2009.
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We're a Cambridge based company. Our offices are in Portugal.
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 14 Nov 2009.
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Me: "Is that shop up the road open 24 hours a day?"
Andy: "No - that one's open 48 hours."
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Posted by JT on 17 Nov 2009.
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They've got a time machine? Radical!
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Posted by Socky on 18 Nov 2009.
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Girl in shop, looking at colour choices on sheets: "Wossa teal?"
Girl's Mother: "A kind of bird."
Girl: "Uhhh. Wossa bird?"
Incredulous Mother: "A fing wiv wings wot flies..."
(I swear this really happened).
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Posted by JT on 15 Aug 2009.
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"Why is gold mining important?"
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Posted by JT on 28 Aug 2009.
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Because God intended gold to be bright and shiny, but while it's in the ground nobody can see it. So we're doing God's will by digging it up.
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 31 Aug 2009.
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"You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so." (Allegedly, this nugget of wisdom was supplied to a customer by a financial adviser employed at a well known UK bank)
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Posted by JT on 15 Sep 2009.
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