Who Invented Foxes?
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 29 Dec 2014.
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Actor commenting on Jurassic Park: "You can hardly tell where the computer models finish and the real dinosaurs begin."
    Posted by JT on 13 Sep 2009. + (3) - (0) Permalink

Overheard staff member in bookshop: "This says Pluto's a planet. Should we still be selling it now we know it's a star?"
    Posted by JT on 19 Aug 2009. + (12) - (1) Permalink
Everybody knows astronomers are just making stuff up.
    Posted by Socky on 20 Sep 2009.
Yes. Keep it for the little starlings.
    Posted by breadbocks on 4 Apr 2010.

"It's not red! It's dark pink."
    Posted by fred on 15 Jan 2015. + (0) - (0) Permalink

"Who'd pay five quid for that? It's broken!" - Entirely serious member of the public looking at a 30cm tall reproduction of the Venus de Milo that I was selling on a market stall.
    (From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venus_de...)
    Posted by JT on 18 Mar 2010. + (4) - (1) Permalink
Now that you mention it - Why is she missing her arms? Did some psychopathic maniac cut them off?
    Posted by Socky on 18 Mar 2010.
She was a compulsive nail-biter.
    Posted by JT on 19 Mar 2010.

"How many times does the number 1 go into 100?"
    (From http://answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...)
    Posted by JT on 11 Jan 2010. + (5) - (1) Permalink
    Posted by Socky on 14 Jan 2010.
The number 1 goes into a bar. The barman says, "Oi! Get out. You're under 18."
    Posted by Wrongfellow on 14 Jan 2010.
Only 18 in a bar. Wow, where do you live, Puerto Rico?
    Posted by CheddarBBQ on 21 Jan 2010.
Does that surprise you? Where do you live, America?
    Posted by Wrongfellow on 22 Jan 2010.

"How many hairs does it take to be a monster?"
    Posted by JT on 14 Sep 2009. + (4) - (0) Permalink
0, damn hairless monsters!
    Posted by sawblade5 on 26 Feb 2010.

"Can you get on a high from soy milk?"
    Posted by JT on 15 Sep 2009. + (2) - (1) Permalink
That could explain why it is that so many vegans talk utter nonsense, I suppose.
    Posted by JT on 15 Sep 2009.

"If you're going to act spontaneously, at least plan it in advance."
    Posted by JT on 6 Oct 2009. + (6) - (0) Permalink
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail....
    Posted by Mhaille on 27 Oct 2009.

Genuine answer given in exam: "The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o and u."
    Posted by JT on 14 Dec 2009. + (6) - (0) Permalink
Unlike other primates, human bodies do not have consonants.
    Posted by Necropaxx on 18 Dec 2009.
He forgot the Elvis.
    Posted by Moosh on 20 Dec 2009.

"Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English."
    Posted by JT on 14 Dec 2009. + (4) - (0) Permalink