JT - Public Profile
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Er...blimey. WTF can I write here that isn't so tedious it'd send people to sleep? After all, the most rock'n'roll thing I do is listen to Radio 4 - although sometimes, I don't turn the radio off until past 10...AT NIGHT. And sometimes, I have a cup of tea that late too, even though it means I have to get up at about 2am for a wee - I suppose that's quite hardcore, really.
Oh yes, and I invented Who Invented Foxes (though it would have taken the form of some crappy blog had it not been for [user and admin] Mike, because my understanding of technology ends in around 1789).
And, like, stuff.
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Here's the best of what JT has contributed:
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Overheard staff member in bookshop: "This says Pluto's a planet. Should we still be selling it now we know it's a star?"
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Posted by JT on 19 Aug 2009.
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Everybody knows astronomers are just making stuff up.
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Posted by Socky on 20 Sep 2009.
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Yes. Keep it for the little starlings.
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Posted by breadbocks on 4 Apr 2010.
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"Is it true that polar bears dissolve in water? I heard the reason they're endangered is because when the ice melts, they fall into the water and dissolve."
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Posted by JT on 26 Oct 2009.
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Superb! I'm almost tempted to rewrite the voting system just so I can vote for this quote more than once. ;)
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 26 Oct 2009.
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God, that's funny.
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Posted by Socky on 26 Oct 2009.
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Epic... Simply Epic.
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Posted by Moosh on 14 Nov 2009.
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At least he's not referring to poachers...
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Posted by Tiger on 15 Dec 2009.
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They dissolve into Polar Kool Aid.
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Posted by Lollipop on 2 Jul 2011.
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A concerned mother writes: "My 17 year old son has been very secretive with me lately, recently he has started to refuse to go to church with the family and tonight when I was going through his room I found a magazine with naked men in it. He obviously has a girlfriend that he is hiding from me that brought that magazine into my home and I am afraid that they are having intercourse and I am greatly concerned that he will get her pregnant."
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Posted by JT on 31 Dec 2009.
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TL - but stick with it. It's a gem.
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Posted by JT on 31 Dec 2009.
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Conspiracy Theory Mum. Gay is just a myth.
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Posted by Moosh on 1 Jan 2010.
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Really I think an unwanted pregnancy is the last thing you should be worrying about.
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 1 Jan 2010.
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I would like to make love to this woman and give birth to her babies.
I'm sure she wouldn't mind, because her husband was also hiding a magazine with naked men, so he's obviously cheating on her with another woman.
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Posted by Socky on 1 Jan 2010.
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Mom, just back away SLOWLY and put the porn down. His girlfriend will need it when she leaves the closet.
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Posted by breadbocks on 4 Apr 2010.
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"My son has invented a new word, who do you sell them to? I can't tell you what it is in case you steal it, it's a good sensible word, how much would it be worth?"
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(From http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/...)
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Posted by JT on 1 Oct 2009.
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I thought sensible was already a word.
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Posted by Tiger on 31 Oct 2009.
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where i live, 4 eggs and a potato
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Posted by Moosh on 9 Nov 2009.
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You sell them to.... the Patent Office!
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Posted by breadbocks on 4 Apr 2010.
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Who... sell you!
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Posted by Tiger on 12 Dec 2010.
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." (US anti-smoking campaign)
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Posted by JT on 20 Aug 2009.
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Not to be prejudiced but I suspect the Americans could be some of our best contributors!
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 21 Aug 2009.
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Ya think?
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Posted by Tiger on 15 Dec 2009.
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I don't *quite* believe that.
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Posted by breadbocks on 4 Apr 2010.
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"Is it okay for a Catholic priest to wear socks with scandals?" - another lovely typo!
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Posted by JT on 5 Mar 2010.
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Catholic priests and sockpuppet-related scandals. I'm lovin' it!
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Posted by Moosh on 5 Mar 2010.
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I think we've got a few of these now. Do we need a "Typos" category?
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 5 Mar 2010.
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I suppose we could - they're a worthwhile form of humour in their own right. I originally thought we should avoid simple mistakes as fundamental misunderstandings/blatant stupidity are funnier, but I couldn't resist this one.
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Posted by JT on 6 Mar 2010.
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No. They can only have their togas.
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Posted by breadbocks on 4 Apr 2010.
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News headline: "Something Went Wrong in Plane Crash, Expert Says"
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Posted by JT on 3 Jan 2010.
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Might be something to do with the remains of the bomb we found in the engine. Just a thought.
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Posted by Destrii on 11 Jan 2010.
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The plane failed to fly right in the crash.
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Posted by sawblade5 on 26 Feb 2010.
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Call me wild, but I think they might have gotten the crash procedure correct. It was just the landing that needed some work.
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Posted by breadbocks on 4 Apr 2010.
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"Who did England fight in the English Civil War?"
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Posted by JT on 11 Jan 2010.
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Poles and Pakistanis, obviously :)
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Posted by Moosh on 11 Jan 2010.
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"Why do animals like dinosaurs still exist if the fish died out hundreds of years ago?"
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Posted by JT on 27 Oct 2009.
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Fish died out...? Then what the hell was that thing I had for my dinner last night?!
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Posted by JT on 27 Oct 2009.
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A dinosaur?
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 27 Oct 2009.
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Synthetic meat?
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Posted by Socky on 28 Oct 2009.
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Loch Ness Monster?
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Posted by Tiger on 31 Oct 2009.
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"Why do animals like dinosaurs still exist?" *cough*
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Posted by Moosh on 14 Nov 2009.
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Porcupine?
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Posted by Lollipop on 2 Jul 2011.
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"What are the symptoms when a guinea pig dies?"
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Posted by JT on 7 Jan 2010.
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Lack of breathing is one to look out for.
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Posted by JT on 7 Jan 2010.
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Lack of enthusiasm when he is near your anus.
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Posted by CheddarBBQ on 7 Jan 2010.
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What kind of guinea pig did YOU have, Cheddar?
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Posted by Necropaxx on 8 Jan 2010.
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The Guinean Guinea pig. The one with 12 inches of crude manpower.
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Posted by Moosh on 8 Jan 2010.
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Ah, the Guinean Guinea Pig. A great pet for children (so long as you remember to buy plenty of Vaseline along with petfood).
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Posted by JT on 8 Jan 2010.
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Is it realistically textured?
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Posted by Wrongfellow on 8 Jan 2010.
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Lack of enthusiasm when he IS near your anus. Or Uranus for that matter.
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Posted by breadbocks on 5 Apr 2010.
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Lack of enthusiasm when he is near poop.
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Posted by Tiger on 12 Dec 2010.
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