Who Invented Foxes?
News: The site may have to go down for a day or two in the near future. (Not that many people will notice.)
Posted by Wrongfellow on 19 Sep 2011.
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JT - Public Profile

Er...blimey. WTF can I write here that isn't so tedious it'd send people to sleep? After all, the most rock'n'roll thing I do is listen to Radio 4 - although sometimes, I don't turn the radio off until past 10...AT NIGHT. And sometimes, I have a cup of tea that late too, even though it means I have to get up at about 2am for a wee - I suppose that's quite hardcore, really.

Oh yes, and I invented Who Invented Foxes (though it would have taken the form of some crappy blog had it not been for [user and admin] Mike, because my understanding of technology ends in around 1789).

And, like, stuff.
Here's the best of what JT has contributed:
Overheard staff member in bookshop: "This says Pluto's a planet. Should we still be selling it now we know it's a star?"
    Posted by JT on 19 Aug 2009. + (12) - (0) Permalink
Everybody knows astronomers are just making stuff up.
    Posted by Socky on 20 Sep 2009.
Yes. Keep it for the little starlings.
    Posted by breadbocks on 4 Apr 2010.

"Is it true that polar bears dissolve in water? I heard the reason they're endangered is because when the ice melts, they fall into the water and dissolve."
    Posted by JT on 26 Oct 2009. + (12) - (0) Permalink
Superb! I'm almost tempted to rewrite the voting system just so I can vote for this quote more than once. ;)
    Posted by Wrongfellow on 26 Oct 2009.
God, that's funny.
    Posted by Socky on 26 Oct 2009.
Epic... Simply Epic.
    Posted by Moosh on 14 Nov 2009.
At least he's not referring to poachers...
    Posted by Tiger on 15 Dec 2009.
They dissolve into Polar Kool Aid.
    Posted by Lollipop on 2 Jul 2011.

A concerned mother writes: "My 17 year old son has been very secretive with me lately, recently he has started to refuse to go to church with the family and tonight when I was going through his room I found a magazine with naked men in it. He obviously has a girlfriend that he is hiding from me that brought that magazine into my home and I am afraid that they are having intercourse and I am greatly concerned that he will get her pregnant."
    Posted by JT on 31 Dec 2009. + (9) - (0) Permalink
TL - but stick with it. It's a gem.
    Posted by JT on 31 Dec 2009.
Conspiracy Theory Mum. Gay is just a myth.
    Posted by Moosh on 1 Jan 2010.
Really I think an unwanted pregnancy is the last thing you should be worrying about.
    Posted by Wrongfellow on 1 Jan 2010.
I would like to make love to this woman and give birth to her babies.
I'm sure she wouldn't mind, because her husband was also hiding a magazine with naked men, so he's obviously cheating on her with another woman.
    Posted by Socky on 1 Jan 2010.
Mom, just back away SLOWLY and put the porn down. His girlfriend will need it when she leaves the closet.
    Posted by breadbocks on 4 Apr 2010.

"My son has invented a new word, who do you sell them to? I can't tell you what it is in case you steal it, it's a good sensible word, how much would it be worth?"
    (From http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/...)
    Posted by JT on 1 Oct 2009. + (9) - (0) Permalink
I thought sensible was already a word.
    Posted by Tiger on 31 Oct 2009.
where i live, 4 eggs and a potato
    Posted by Moosh on 9 Nov 2009.
You sell them to.... the Patent Office!
    Posted by breadbocks on 4 Apr 2010.
Who... sell you!
    Posted by Tiger on 12 Dec 2010.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." (US anti-smoking campaign)
    Posted by JT on 20 Aug 2009. + (8) - (0) Permalink
Not to be prejudiced but I suspect the Americans could be some of our best contributors!
    Posted by Wrongfellow on 21 Aug 2009.
Ya think?
    Posted by Tiger on 15 Dec 2009.
I don't *quite* believe that.
    Posted by breadbocks on 4 Apr 2010.

"Is it okay for a Catholic priest to wear socks with scandals?" - another lovely typo!
    Posted by JT on 5 Mar 2010. + (7) - (0) Permalink
Catholic priests and sockpuppet-related scandals. I'm lovin' it!
    Posted by Moosh on 5 Mar 2010.
I think we've got a few of these now. Do we need a "Typos" category?
    Posted by Wrongfellow on 5 Mar 2010.
I suppose we could - they're a worthwhile form of humour in their own right. I originally thought we should avoid simple mistakes as fundamental misunderstandings/blatant stupidity are funnier, but I couldn't resist this one.
    Posted by JT on 6 Mar 2010.
No. They can only have their togas.
    Posted by breadbocks on 4 Apr 2010.

News headline: "Something Went Wrong in Plane Crash, Expert Says"
    Posted by JT on 3 Jan 2010. + (7) - (0) Permalink
Might be something to do with the remains of the bomb we found in the engine. Just a thought.
    Posted by Destrii on 11 Jan 2010.
The plane failed to fly right in the crash.
    Posted by sawblade5 on 26 Feb 2010.
Call me wild, but I think they might have gotten the crash procedure correct. It was just the landing that needed some work.
    Posted by breadbocks on 4 Apr 2010.

"Who did England fight in the English Civil War?"
    Posted by JT on 11 Jan 2010. + (7) - (0) Permalink
Poles and Pakistanis, obviously :)
    Posted by Moosh on 11 Jan 2010.

"Why do animals like dinosaurs still exist if the fish died out hundreds of years ago?"
    Posted by JT on 27 Oct 2009. + (7) - (0) Permalink
Fish died out...? Then what the hell was that thing I had for my dinner last night?!
    Posted by JT on 27 Oct 2009.
A dinosaur?
    Posted by Wrongfellow on 27 Oct 2009.
Synthetic meat?
    Posted by Socky on 28 Oct 2009.
Loch Ness Monster?
    Posted by Tiger on 31 Oct 2009.
"Why do animals like dinosaurs still exist?" *cough*
    Posted by Moosh on 14 Nov 2009.
Porcupine?
    Posted by Lollipop on 2 Jul 2011.

"What are the symptoms when a guinea pig dies?"
    Posted by JT on 7 Jan 2010. + (7) - (0) Permalink
Lack of breathing is one to look out for.
    Posted by JT on 7 Jan 2010.
Lack of enthusiasm when he is near your anus.
    Posted by CheddarBBQ on 7 Jan 2010.
What kind of guinea pig did YOU have, Cheddar?
    Posted by Necropaxx on 8 Jan 2010.
The Guinean Guinea pig. The one with 12 inches of crude manpower.
    Posted by Moosh on 8 Jan 2010.
Ah, the Guinean Guinea Pig. A great pet for children (so long as you remember to buy plenty of Vaseline along with petfood).
    Posted by JT on 8 Jan 2010.
Is it realistically textured?
    Posted by Wrongfellow on 8 Jan 2010.
Lack of enthusiasm when he IS near your anus. Or Uranus for that matter.
    Posted by breadbocks on 5 Apr 2010.
Lack of enthusiasm when he is near poop.
    Posted by Tiger on 12 Dec 2010.